There’s nothing wrong with a hookup; it can be a fun way to pass an evening without any commitment or responsibility. But there might come the point when you’re getting along so well that you want more than just sex – and that’s when you need to start moving things along from a simple hookup to a full-blown relationship.
There are some hookups that will never be a relationship, no matter what you do or say. But that still leaves a healthy number ripe for the picking, providing you handle things in the right way. Here are 10 tested techniques that will turn that late-night booty call into something more.
#1 Suggest future plans
You don’t need to get heavy, but by hinting about arrangements in the future, you’re making it clear that you see this as more than a shag by shag set-up. Maybe there’s a band you both like who is coming to town? Casually suggest getting tickets to go together and gauge the reaction.
#2 Add them as friends or follow them on social media
This one is good for those who don’t feel brave enough to have a face-to-face conversation about their relationship status. Their reaction to you reaching out on social media will tell you everything you need to know. If they ignore your request or don’t follow back, you have your subtle answer.
#3 Try a different routine
It’s easy to fall into hooking up when it’s Saturday night, and you have no plans. Try suggesting you meet up on another night and do something different than normal. This is a subtle way of stretching your boundaries and allowing them to see you as something more.
#4 Keep seeing each other
Over time, it’s possible to fall in love with someone without even realizing it. Developing a deep friendship is the first step, which can then deepen. The more you see each other, the more you can get to know each other – giving you the perfect opportunity to become something more.
#5 Hang out at places that they’ll be – but not all the time
If you don’t want to be upfront about the fact you want to see more of them, try hanging out at similar places. Only do this if it’s possible without looking like you’re stalking them! Going to a local pub or club where they might go too is a way to see them outside your usual hookup without looking too desperate. Don’t do this all the time because otherwise, it will start to look a bit obvious.
#6 Be unavailable sometimes
You don’t want to block them completely but sending a clear signal that you’ve got other interests can be enough for them to chase you. Don’t be available all the time, and they might soon be asking about moving onto a full relationship.
#7 Show them there’s more to you than a smoking hot body
Presumably, you’re having red-hot sex if you’re hooking up regularly, but there needs to be more in a relationship. Chat to them about other things, and you’ll prove to them that you’re not just sexy, you’re fascinating and funny too. What a catch!
#8 Text them when you’re sober
If you want to be more than a booty call, you need to start acting like one. Don’t wait until it’s 11 pm on a Friday night and you’re drunk to get in touch. Send a flirty and funny text during the week to show them you’re thinking about them. It’s not heavy or clingy, but it sends a sign that there’s more than just weekend sex on your mind.
#9 Make sure you’re fun to be around
Hookups should all be about fun, and if they’re not, why would you move onto a relationship with someone? No matter what’s going on in your life, make sure the time you spend together is enjoyable and not a drag.
#10 Talk to them!
If you really want to be in a relationship, sometimes you just have to ask. If they’re not getting all the hints you’re dropping, ask them directly if they’re up for something more. If they say no, you’ve got the choice of either continuing to hook up or dropping them and finding someone new.
Want to Make that Hookup a Relationship? Try These Phrases
Although actions speak a thousand words, you need to think about what you say too. Back up what you do with what you say by using these smart phrases, which will give your sex buddy a clear idea about what you want.
- “It feels so good here with you; I don’t want to move…”
- “I’m really starting to look forward to these times…”
- “I’m thinking I don’t want to have sex with anyone else anymore.”
- “I hate the thought of you having sex with other people.”
- “What are we?”
- “I think we’ve got more in common than just hot sex.”
- “I think I want more than just a hookup. If that’s all you’re looking for, it might be better to end this now.”
The last phrase on this list is a risky move, but if you’ve reached the point where a hookup just isn’t enough, then it’s worth putting your cards on the table. By letting them know that if they don’t want a relationship, you’ll walk away, you’ll be forcing them to confront how they really feel. If that means you end things, that’s better than hanging on, hoping that they will want a relationship when that’s never going to happen.